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Testimonies -
Chris Evans
cevans@fellowshipofthemartyrs.com
"I'm
Sorry, I Buried My Talents"
About 10 years ago
God called me to be a rancher. God used a man who was an elder in the
church that I attended to speak that into my life. God made this man,
while standing in front of the group that I was in look right at me
and point his finger at me and say “you are a rancher, a
shepherd of shepherds.”
The man then
lowered his finger and continued on in his teaching. It seems that
nobody except me heard him say that or point his finger, nor does
this man have any recollection of ever having said anything or ever
having pointed a finger or even looking at me.
I really didn't
know what that meant at the time but, God has since then made it
abundantly clear that it means I'm a pastor. Now I'm not trying to
make something out of that, cause Jesus is everything and I'm
nothing. I'm just telling you this because it's a part of this very
short story that I know Jesus wants me to tell.
I was raised a
preachers kid and I've been in and out of churches all my life and
deep down inside of me I believe that I have always known that there
is something really really wrong with 'the church”, “the
church leadership”, “the body of Christ”. I've been
reading the bible since I was a little kid and can remember being
taught to be OK with my sin and the fact that I'm a sinner cause
“God's grace is sufficient” and because “there is
therefore no condemnation in Christ Jesus.” Now, I know that you
can find key phrases like that in the bible, but I have known for a
long time that there are a lot of other verses in the bible that I've
hardly ever seen the people in the churches following at all, not
even the pastors. Like Proverbs 3:5&6 Trust in the Lord
with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your
ways acknowledge God and He will make your paths straight. In Mark 14
verses 21 and 23 it says that if we love Jesus we will obey his
commands. I can't even remember the last time I saw anybody in church
acknowledge God in all there ways. I don't even know how you can do
that unless you're praying all the time and the bible says we're
supposed to pray without ceasing. I've heard countless people in
churches say that they love Jesus and then in their next breath they
are going outside after church to have a cigarette or a chew of
tobacco or going to the bar to have a beer or committing adultery
with their neighbor's husband or wife or just loving a whole bunch of
stuff more than they love Jesus. Oh, by the way, if anybody thinks
that what I'm saying even remotely resembles condemnation, then let
me put that to rest, cause I was one of em, I was the most wretched
sinner of them all. So if I'm judging anybody, then I'm judging myself.
As a pastor I was
supposed to feed the hungry and I didn't, I was supposed to clothe
the naked and I didn't, I was supposed to give shelter to the
wandering stranger and I didn't, I was supposed to loose the yokes of
oppression off of anyone who wanted to be free and I didn't and I was
supposed to tell the world about my Lord and Savior Jesus
Christ and fulfill the great commission and I didn't. For all the
things that I didn't do, I am truly sorry! I don't really even know
all the people whose path my life has crossed so I'm just gonna
apologized to everyone. To those of you who were hurting, crying and
alone and I didn't tell you about Jesus, the comforter, I'm really
sorry. To those of you that were sick and I passed by and I didn't
tell you about Jesus, the healer, I'm really sorry. To those of you
that just needed a friend and I wasn't one and I didn't tell you
about the friend that sticks closer than a brother, Jesus, I'm
really sorry. To those of you that lived and died while I watched,
and I never told you about Jesus, the Savior of the world, I'm so so
sorry. To those of you who needed a daddy but never knew one,
and I didn't tell you about Abba Father, I'm so sorry.
I was lazy, I was
complacent and I was a coward and there was so much stuff that I
loved more than I loved Jesus and I'm so very sorry. Today is a new
day and I will not be lazy or complacent or afraid any longer. Will
you all please please forgive me?
Signed: RancherForChrist
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This
Is The Way, Walk In It
All scriptural
references are taken from the NIV translation.
Isaiah 30:
19-22 19) Oh people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you
will weep no more. How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As
soon as He hears, He will answer you. 20) Although the Lord gives you
the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers
will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21)
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a
voice behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”
22) Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your
images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual
cloth and say to them, away with you!
January, 2006
While sitting
alone in my shop on a small farm just outside of Liberty, Missouri, I
cried out to God once again for help. Now, as a Christian, after 20
years of crying out and searching and hoping to find Jesus in a real
way, I suppose I really didn't expect to hear Him so clearly. (Isaiah
35:5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the
deaf unstopped.)
He said to
me, “Chris, when are you gonna stop praying the warm fuzzy
prayer and start praying some serious prayers?” (The Hard Prayers)
“Lord,
exactly what warm fuzzy prayers are You talking about?”
“Chris, you
know, the ones where ya ask Me to watch over and protect you and your
wife and help ya be diligent in your work and such.”
“OK Lord,
what serious prayers do Ya want me to pray?”
“Well Chris,
how about if ya ask Me to kill everything in ya that ain't Jesus and
fill ya up with more of Me.”
“OK Lord
Jesus, please kill everything in me that's not Jesus and clean out my
cup real good. Get everything out of the way between You and me. I
don't care what it costs or how much it hurts. Don't stop even if I
kick and scream and complain. Once Ya get the inside of my cup all
shiny clean would Ya please fill me up pressed down, shaken together
and running over with Jesus? Oh, and by the way Lord Jesus, I know
that Your word says that the fear of God is a good thing and I just
don't think I'm afraid of You at all, so could Ya please teach me to
fear God real good, in the name of Jesus, amen.”
Well, when a fella
or gal, gets done prayin a prayer like that and then just sits there
kinda quiet like to let it soak in what just came outta your mouth,
ya just can't help but get a little scared cause ya just know in your
heart that Jesus is gonna answer that prayer. Amen? Well, Jesus took
that prayer real serious and He just kinda picked me up by my
spiritual heels and started shakin real hard to shake all the badness
outta me.
I want ya to know
that I had smoked and chewed tobacco for 20 years and within 3 weeks
of praying that prayer, I no longer smoked or chewed and Jesus had
taught me to fear God real good. Jesus started burning away all the
stuff (idols) that I loved more than I loved Him. I found out the
hard way that when Jesus says “STOP”, He means STOP, and it
don't make any difference whether He's talkin about chewin tobacco or
macaroni salad. Also, when Jesus says “ALL”, He means ALL.
(Proverbs 3:5&6 Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and
lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him
and He will make your paths straight.)
The truth is,
Jesus is interested in every little detail of my life and yours. He
wants to pick out what shirt I wear and what I eat and if I eat and
who I talk to and how long I sleep and every little detail cause He
has plans for me and His plans are perfect. (All means All) He's not
kiddin around, He really means it. Jesus wants me to walk in perfect
obedience and to be holy as He is holy. Now I know what your thinkin,
that's impossible, you can't do that. Well, you'd be right, I can't
do that – but Jesus in me can! Surely we can agree that I can't
do it and that it has to be Jesus, so then, maybe the best way for
that to happen, is for me to ask Jesus to get rid of all of the
“sin” out of me and all of the “Chris” out of me
and then He can just crawl inside me and walk around like Jesus in
the flesh all over again.
I know, I know, I
could be wrong about all of this stuff. Maybe this ain't the way and
maybe you shouldn't walk in it. Maybe Chris ain't really
hearing Jesus. Maybe Jesus ain't even real. Well, there is one
sure-fired way to find out. Jesus told me, after I had prayed
“The Hard Prayers” for awhile and endured all the
refining that went along with them, that I could pray the hard
prayers for anybody that He told me to pray them for and I didn't
even have to ask their permission and He would still honor my
prayers. So, what do ya say we find out what's real and what ain't?
I'm gonna type my email address ( cevans@fellowshipofthemartyrs.com )
and anyone that would like to find out what's true and what's real,
just send me an email and tell me your first name. Then just tell me
what's on your mind. Maybe you don't believe Jesus would really
answer such a simple prayer or maybe you don't even believe that
Jesus is real or perhaps you just think Chris is a total boob for
saying such nonsense. Whatever the case, I'll ask Jesus if He wants
me to pray for you and if He says yes then I'll pray real hard and
we'll find out together what the truth is and what's real. If Jesus
tells me not to pray for you then I will simply tell you that I can't
pray for you. Now, I don't know why Jesus would tell me not to pray
for someone but, just to be on the safe side, you should probably hit
the floor immediately in the privacy of your own home, and bawl like
a baby and beg for mercy from God, on the outside chance that He's
mad at you. Yeah, I know that there's been a lot of TV preachers that
have been telling you for a long time that God's not mad at you cause
He's a God of Love. Well, God does love you all a whole bunch, but
I'm pretty sure that He's mad at some of ya.
(Joel
2:12-14) 12) “Even now,” declares the Lord,
“return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and
mourning.” 13) Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to
the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to
anger and abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity.
14) Who knows? He may turn and have pity and leave behind a blessing
– grain offerings and drink offerings for the Lord your God.
“The Hard
Question” -- WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE THAN JESUS?
If we pray
“The Hard Prayers” together, then the answer to “The
Hard Question” will eventually be “Nothing.”
My name is Chris
Evans and this is not about me, this is about Jesus.
Lord Jesus, please
rule and reign and be totally and completely in charge. Please
don't let anything get in the way. Lord, You are God and there
is no other and You are worthy of all praise and honor and glory, in
the name of Jesus, amen.
Well, my life is a
continuing saga, so expect an update story sometime soon. There
is so much more to come.
www.fellowshipofthemartyrs.com |
