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Do You Have A
"Dad Filter"?
Transcript of
video from www.FellowshipOfTheMartyrs.com
(Click
here for printable PDF file.)
Just wanted to
talk to you a little bit today. Want to pray first.
Dear Lord, thanks
for this time, please rule and reign – be fully in charge in
every way. Bind up everything of us that would get in Your way and
anything of the enemy that would try to stop what You're doing. Help
them all to hear You really, really good right now. We love
You, Lord. In the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I want to talk to
you about “Dad Filters.” Probably a term you haven't
heard in church, but it's really, really important. In Matthew
16, the Word of God says that He gives us the keys to the kingdom,
that as joint heirs with Jesus, that we rule with Him – that we
have access – that we'll do greater things than He did. And it
says in Matthew 16 that if you bind it on earth, it will be bound in
heaven – and if you loose it on earth, it will be loosed in
heaven. So one of the things – in all the stuff that we do here
to help people get unclogged and full of Jesus and walk in the
fullness of what He has for them – one of the very first things
we have to deal with over and over and over is this “Dad Filter.”
It's kind of like
a lens – it's a filter that you look at God through that kind of
limits Him. It's like putting God in a box. A lot of times people
don't realize that they've done it – they learned it as a kid
from Earth Dad. This tends to sort of be a lens, a cookie-cutter
almost, shaped like Earth Dad that you try to squeeze God into.
I counseled with
sisters whose dads threw them in the trunk of a car with dead cats or
locked her in a closet and would invite people over to molest her
(and stories even worse!). When your father has done that kind
of stuff and then you pray, “Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,” - it's all mangled up. And it's
real hard to have a relationship with Abba Father when you never had
a Dad – or he was a jerk, or worse.
There are all
kinds of different Dad Filter – and layers of them
sometimes. The Lord will help you unravel them as you go along.
But the main thing is that, I want you to spend a little bit of time
thinking about how your relationship with Earth Dad MIGHT look
similar to the kind of relationship you're having right now with
Father God.
This brother in
Texas that I counseled with one time, he had a huge, huge spirit of
fear and anxiety. He was on anti-anxiety and anti-depressants and all
kinds of stuff. He was barely surviving in Dallas – but God was
calling him to go to India and it was freaking him out. He didn't
know how to handle even what he was going through right now. He
was doing SO much on his own power. I asked the Lord, “Can
we pray and get the spirit of fear off of him?” And the
Lord says, “No, you can't do that.” Well, why
not? “Because of the Dad Filter.”
So I kind of press
in and ask the Lord and - oh, it's horrible! Horrible! I
say, “OK, Lord can we deal with the Dad Filter?” And He
says, “Yeah, talk to him about that.” And I've done
this a lot and He kind of gave me what to say and so I said,
“Brother, do you remember all those times your Dad would push
you on the swing and pat your head and kiss your boo-boos and tell
you he was proud of you and you could do anything? You remember all
those times?” He said, “No, my dad died when I was two
years old.” “OK, so like a string of step-dads and
boyfriends that beat on you and you just kind of had to hide and keep
your head down cause Mom didn't really help and nobody would come to
your rescue?” He says, “Yeah! How did you know?!”
I said, “Well, that's what the Lord is telling me.”
I said, “Can
you understand how you kind of learned that Dad's will not come to
your rescue. They're going to abandon you, they're going to leave
you, they're untrustworthy, they're unreliable and you pretty much
gotta do everything yourself? And you've got all this fear and stuff
and you're rebuking it in the Name of YOU! And that's just
never going to work. They just chuckle when you try that. If it
ain't Jesus, then it's just never going to work. But you don't think
He'll come and help!”
He kind of started
to see it. And it's not so much demonic – you can't just rebuke
it off – it's a lie that's been built up. Like an oyster builds
a pearl around a little irritant – and that original lie gets
bigger and bigger and bigger and we don't even know that we're doing
it. That's why Dads are important – because they shape our
understanding of who Father God is. And they are supposed to
transition us while we're carnal, while we're immature – we
focus on the Natural Dad. And if they're a really good Dad, then
they're supposed to be able to help transition us to the Spiritual
Dad as we get ready for that. But if they're not there, if they're
not available, if they're bad dads, then we end up with a mangled
perception of who Father God is.
Anyway, so we
talked about it and my job is just to hold up a mirror and say,
“Do you see that you're doing this? Do you see that you put God
in a box shaped like THAT guy?” That you're telling God –
even though you're preaching different, even though you say He's all
about love and He'll come to your rescue and you quote Psalm 23 and
all of that – you don't really believe it. Because you never had
an Abba Father, you never understood that it was even possible. And
you don't think He'll love you like that.”
And he kind of
started to see it, so we prayed and I said, “Look, what we need
to do is just repent – because you're putting God in a box and
you're telling Him that YOU are SO special that He can love everybody
else, but not you. And that's just arrogance and pride. You don't get
to dictate the terms of the relationship you have with God. HE gets
to dictate the terms to YOU. He's big and you're little and you don't
get a say.”
It's like if you
had a thirteen year old girl and she's going through her
Goth-wearing, angst-filled, parents are stupid phase – and she
comes down every morning from her room and grouses at you and only
talks to you when she wants money and won't let her friends come over
and see you because she thinks you're stupid and ugly. But you'll
take whatever you can get – because you're a Dad, you're a Mom,
and you love her and you'll pray and hope she'll get over it. But if
she only talks to you once a month, then you'll take it and you'll
try to make the most of it. But it would be SO much better if she
came down every morning and kissed your forehead and wanted to go to
the mall with you and was your BEST friend and talked to you about
the boy she just met. That would be so much better. She's the kid
– she's not supposed to get to dictate the terms of the
relationship. But you're a mom and you'll let her and you'll
just pray she'll get over it.
That's what Father
God has been doing with you and me – and so many people. If we
only come to the Lord when somebody is in the hospital or we need a
job or there's an emergency and we just think He's like a fire
extinguisher – He'll take it and maybe He'll help and maybe He
won't. But it would be SO much better if you were just holding His
hand all the time. If you really believed that He would push you on
the swingset and kiss your boo-boos and pull you up onto His lap and
pat your head and love on your real good.
You may never have
had a dad that did that kind of stuff, but I can assure you that God
does – that He says He will and that He does. My best prayer for
you would be that you would take that filter, that lens –
the blinders that you are looking through and leaving out all the
parts of God that aren't conveniently fitting into your world-view,
into your sense of what Dad's are – just say you're sorry.
Because it's pride, it's arrogance, it's the same as the lie of the
snake in the Garden to say, “Well, God didn't really mean THAT.
Well, He's not really like THAT. Well, He's like that to other
people, but you don't deserve it.” It's a LIE. And I just
want you to say you're sorry. Just go to Him and say, “Lord, I'm
sorry that I put you in a box. I'm sorry that I limited You in any
way. I'm sorry that I dictated the terms of this relationship. Please
just take that lens and bash it up into a billion pieces and don't
let me put You in a box anymore! And You just swoop in and be
God to me in whatever way You want to. I want to talk to You, I want
to hold Your hand, I want to walk with You all the time.”
If you pray that,
He'll answer it. He's been DYING to answer that prayer. He's been
dying for you to pray that prayer. Don't let the Dad Filter slow you
down, because if you don't think He'll come to your rescue, He won't.
But He wants to. So just say you're sorry and let Him swoop in and
change your life.
I love you.
More of this on
the website – www.FellowshipOfTheMartyrs.com
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